me trying to do stuff
Tiny kitten demonstrates expert throat-slitting technique. Nature is amazing.
"Oh sibling kisses—
NO SISTER WHYY?!”
but look at the cat in the background
Fastest way to get through a border patrol checkpoint
are you fuckingkidding me
i cant stop watching
ion fuck with that playful flirting like a girl be like “hey ugly 😛” or “wassup big head😁” my head ain’t eem that big and my self esteem delicate please chill
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
the fuck kind of romeo and juliet is this
HOW DO PEOPLE EMAIL TEACHERS SO QUICKLY I SIT THERE FOR 1 HOUR TRYING TO WORK OUT WHETHER TO START OFF WITH HI OR HELLO
“Last night… I… my son is in the hospital, dying. I’ve been crying all day. He’s not here, and I can’t even go see him. I can’t help him. I can’t do anything. What am I gonna do? I need to be there. I don’t even know if he’s gonna die. How am I gonna know? I don’t even have a phone. I’ve got two dollars to buy a calling card. The thing is, I need to be next to him. He’s dying. My other sons went there, but I can’t go because I don’t have any money. I wish I could go and do something.”
“Last night, he got attacked by a gang in my country. El Salvador is very dangerous. They hurt good people. Gang members split his head open, and now he’s in a coma. He’s a big kid, so there must’ve been a lot of them—one guy can’t bring him down. And even then the only way they could get him is if they hit him in the back. They stole his wallet, his glasses.
“I just found out this morning, when I checked my email in the library. Somebody stole my phone at the shelter last night at 10 o’clock. My brother said he called me at 11 o’clock to let me know what happened. I don’t know, man, it’s very sad what’s happening in my life. If he dies, I’m gonna kill myself.”
“Don’t say that. You have other children. They’ll need you.”
“They’ve got their momma—my ex wife. I’m single, and I stay at a shelter. I’m not worth much.”
This hurts so much.
it took me 10 years to realized his head went into the shape of a leg
hello yes, I would like to purchase one night stand.
cAN WE ALL JUST PAUSE AND APPRECIATE THIS PUN
christian memes is officially too much
when your crush starts a conversation but decides to ignore you after 5 minutes.
when questions contains the answers to a different problem on a test